Meeting Optimization Enthusiast Gifts

"It's not that we don't interact, it's that we don't NOT interact."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

Responsibility and duties

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

Conference Pears

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

Dog Park Zoom

'I meet therefore I MANAGE.'

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'