Meeting Optimization Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's not that we don't interact, it's that we don't NOT interact."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

Responsibility and duties

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

Conference Pears

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

'I meet therefore I MANAGE.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

Dog Park Zoom

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'