Meeting Muppet Gifts

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

Pizza time.

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"I don't want to take this meeting off track, but... isn't Stonehenge amazing? Seriously, who did that?"

Man in meeting has drawn all over paper, table and chairman, who says: 'I have no objection to doodling during meetings, but it must be within reason.'

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

'Let me present today's speaker.'

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'

"He's been studying The Art of Bore."

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'Well, he sure as hell doesn't walk like a C.E.O.'

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I haven't got a clue what I'm talking about.'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'