Meeting Muppet Pillows

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Pizza time.

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"I don't want to take this meeting off track, but... isn't Stonehenge amazing? Seriously, who did that?"

Man in meeting has drawn all over paper, table and chairman, who says: 'I have no objection to doodling during meetings, but it must be within reason.'

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

'Let me present today's speaker.'

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

'Well, he sure as hell doesn't walk like a C.E.O.'

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'

"He's been studying The Art of Bore."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I haven't got a clue what I'm talking about.'