Meeting Meltdown Enthusiast Gifts

"This symposium has gotten completely out of hand!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

Optimist

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

Apocalypse Research Center

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

Responsibility and duties

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

Conference Pears

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'I meet therefore I MANAGE.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

The Brief collaboration Alfred Nobel And Thomas Edison

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."