Meeting Gatecrasher Gifts

"Are we all here? You can all hear me...wait....who's that?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

In basket-case.

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

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