Meeting Dozer Gifts

'This meeting's over at 4:00? I'll request a 3:55 wake up call.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"What's a debenture?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

Networking

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'