Mediterranean Diet Adherent Gifts

"So, how's the Mediterranean diet working out?"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

Mediterranean Martini

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

Obesity Report

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."