Medieval Myth Fans Gifts

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Bacchus.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

Swiss army knife

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

Hot Tub Frosty

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

Going Down?

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Life and Death

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Medieval Office Supplies

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"He's So Your Type."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."