Medieval Myth Fans Pillows

I cannot believe how much a teenage boy can eat.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Bacchus.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

Swiss army knife

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

Hot Tub Frosty

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

Life and Death

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

Going Down?

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Medieval Office Supplies

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'