Medieval Myth Buff Gifts

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Knight Golfing

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

A vampire in a canoe.

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Wotan with eye patch

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Right here's fine."

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'