Historical Myth Buff Gifts

"Read somewhere that if they put one front leg into the air it means they were wounded in battle..."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Toadstools

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Have you been playing dice?"

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

A vampire in a canoe.

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"Right here's fine."

"I find that hugely offensive!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

"Recalculating route..."