Medieval Castles Gifts

I could have sworn I heard someone knock

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"We're following Carrot Top."

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Lady of the bath...

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"Early model of baggage claim"

Joust Sharpener

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Knights of the bedside table.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Beard in the Stone

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"