Medieval Castles Gifts

I could have sworn I heard someone knock

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

"We're following Carrot Top."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Lady of the bath...

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

Joust Sharpener

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

The Beard in the Stone

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Knights of the bedside table.

Missing You.