Medicine Musers Gifts

'It says not to use heavy machinery when taking these. What's heavy machinery?'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

The Evolution Of Man.

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

Delta and Omicron Race

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

"He has a pretty rare blood group."

'Is this really where we wanted to be at this stage of our lives?'

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."

'It may not be the solution you were looking for, but physician-assisted noogies are the best I can legally go.'

Intensive Care in the Community

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

How do medicines work? They don't! All they do is give God time to heal the body!

'Yes, we can run a few tests if you insist. But, I'm pretty sure that my initial diagnosis is correct.'

Ignitas

"With proper flossing your restoration will last forever. My assistant will show you how."

'Sure I'd like to have everything but where would I put it?'

"You could call it cilia. I prefer to think of it as designer stubble."

Death leaves a 'Back Later' note on the door.

Alert with Ibuprofen

A Reasonable Time For Concern - 'Hello Crematorium?'

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

'I'm sorry, Mrs. Griswald... You've called me so often at my home that you now legally qualify as a friend and I can no longer treat you!"