Medicine Memester Gifts

'I'm going to refer you to a podiatrist. Increased foot size is a side effect of the erectile dysfunction medication I prescribed.'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

"...how would you rate me on a scale of nine to ten?"

The Guy Who Was Hooked Up To The Wrong Machines

Victorious Vaccination Campaign

"I'm afraid the diagnosis isn't good."

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

Medical students learning how to perform a prostate examination.

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

'Now, 'ol doc, he'd have wrapped 'er the other way.'

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

"Poison ivy? No, I said you have a poison IV. Honestly, I have no idea why we keep that stuff right next to the medicine."

"The secret to his success? He's diversified."

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

"You fix computers, and I fix people. Judging by the shape you're in, my job will be a lot more challenging than yours."

The NHS - 'I'm afraid years of neglect and abuse have left her in terminal decline.'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

Hey, curing is an art, man! And as an artist I may sign my work, right?!

Students singing 'Now we know our A-B-Os'

"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."

"Dr. Cosgrove will be here in a minute. He's been cramming for this operation."

'I'll be with you shortly, just keep worrying.'