Medicine Junkie Pillows

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

Phobia Clinic: Now treating Dow 15,000 acrophobia.

A Mom and Pop Operation

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

Woman with exercise bike

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"Yes, I AM the CEO of the bank that received the BAIL OUT MONEY, why do you ask?"

Gym workout.

'All I'm saying, Sweetheart, is that maybe you're not quite ready for the advanced yoga class!'

'Buy... sell... buy... sell... buy...'

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

'It's the word MODERATE which scares me!'

Weight Loss Clinic.

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer reading 'lightweight gift ideas' magazine

'Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.'

'I'm sorry, but there are now 16,000 medical jounals, and I no longer have time to see any patients.'

"Ich habe einen ziemlich miesen DNA-Tag."

"First of all, Mr. Keller, I'll buy you a new shirt."

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

"I was going to give him accupunture, but on second thoughts..."

Intensive billing unit