Medication Junkie Pillows

"Four times daily, and I wouldn't worry too much, it's probably tension."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'These are job perks.'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"Eat me"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

Stress

Homing pigeons in therapy.

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"It's taking more and more destruction just to feel anything."

M.D. The problem with your constitution is you've abused the pursuit of happiness.

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'

Woman with exercise bike

For Edward, a cup of coffee was no longer enough to get him started in the morning...

We're making real progress, Al. With my problems, or with the construction of your beach house?

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

'Please don't say a word to me until my coffee gets right...about...here.

Gym workout.

'I'd recommend you cut back on the vitamin C supplements'

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

'Here's an over-the-counter prescription for your nerves. Have your bartender fill it.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

"Flavor? It's 'let me drink my first cup before I stab you in the eyes' flavor."

Infectious Diseases Lab. I don't care how you collected bugs as kids. We don't poke holes in the containers here.

Couple are so focused on their cellphones they don't notice their house burning down around them.

'I'm sorry, but there are now 16,000 medical jounals, and I no longer have time to see any patients.'

Fuel Station - The pumps read: Espresso, latte, cappuccino.