Medication Junkie Pillows

"Four times daily, and I wouldn't worry too much, it's probably tension."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'These are job perks.'

"Eat me"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

Stress

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'

Woman with exercise bike

For Edward, a cup of coffee was no longer enough to get him started in the morning...

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

Gym workout.

'Please don't say a word to me until my coffee gets right...about...here.

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

'I'd recommend you cut back on the vitamin C supplements'

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'Here's an over-the-counter prescription for your nerves. Have your bartender fill it.'

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

"Flavor? It's 'let me drink my first cup before I stab you in the eyes' flavor."

Couple are so focused on their cellphones they don't notice their house burning down around them.

'I'm sorry, but there are now 16,000 medical jounals, and I no longer have time to see any patients.'

Fuel Station - The pumps read: Espresso, latte, cappuccino.

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'