Healthcare Junkie Pillows

Intensive billing unit

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

Woman with exercise bike

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

Gym workout.

"We took away your right to vote on taxes. You voted 'no' too often."

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

'All I'm saying, Sweetheart, is that maybe you're not quite ready for the advanced yoga class!'

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

'It's the word MODERATE which scares me!'

Weight Loss Clinic.

'Hope that Medicare will kick in to help with my developing headache pain!'

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer reading 'lightweight gift ideas' magazine