Humorous Health Junkie Pillows

All this binge eating and rinking I'm doing is making me really fat so I'll need a full check-up in July 2006 - GPs must provide advance bookings.

"I'm not saying you have to give them up entirely, but you need to eat your young in moderation."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

'Side effects may include....'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

"I didn't even get a balloon."

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'Give Mr. Fogarty his testosterone injection, Nurse, and then run like the dickens!'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

According to your chart, your leg is a pre-existing condition, Mr. Fusco. My entire body is a pre-existing condition, Doctor. (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-08-12).