Medicine Cabinet Curator Gifts

Round the Clock

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Paul Klee

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Shoe addict.

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Misunderstood artist

It's a call from Tate modern.

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

You had me at vintage.

Convenience.

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

The Rise of Modern Art

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"The new house is almost ready!"

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

Board Game Hunter

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"That must be the artist over there."

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"