Medicine Cabinet Strategist Gifts

'You know, if you can wait three weeks, cold medicine will be sale.'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

NHS targets.

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

Medical Supplies

'Your prescription is ready. How would you like to finance it?'

"It's the hospital board performing surgery on the budget."

'That does it. . . Little Freddie is not going to law school! He's going to become an oncologist, Mary a gerontologist and Stevie a pharmacist! We'll be covered!'

Malpractice Problems

'Don't worry, I'll do all I can for you until your health insurance cancels you for getting sick.'

Virus Physics

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

Round the Clock

"I eat cheap greasy food so I can save for my cardiologist bills in the future."

"Heck of a way to start the negotiation."

BMA looks for more assertive head

"These are difficult times which requires personal sacrifice. I'm personally sacrificing you."

"We're having some of our brightest minds working on how to spin this."

'I'm altering my position frequently to avoid back strain.'

"Pump vigorously if you feel a palpitation. We're still battling with your insurance company for a better pacemaker."

'Our best bet is to ignore nutrition completely, and stress its shape and color, and the toy in the box.'

Once, the doctor actually saw me on time. It felt like a huge wait had been lifted from my shoulders.

'Just between you and me, we were counting on a big stock market rally, so Wall Street could bail out the government.'

Cost/Value

'Now that we've hired you we would like to restructure the position.'

I'm waiting to see the doctor. I got hit by a hockey ball. There are tons of kids with sports injuries ahead of me. Actually, it's not a drag at all. It's a great place to meet guys.

'Mark my words! If we physicians allow the establishment of a nursing profession...'

'What have I got doc?'

'This is Nurse Jenkins, she'll be responsible for documenting and filing your request to go to the toilet.'

'He can smell fear, but you can throw him off track by rubbing cash on yourself.'

'Those of you who regard a tonsillectomy as a minor procedure...'