Medicinal Merrymaker Gifts

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Clownfish entertain sea life by hitting each other in the face with octopi.

Tigers brass band, "Tiger rag-that's what it's all about."

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'I'd like to tell you all about it, dear, but what happens in Joe's Bar STAYS in Joe's Bar.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

Hoo Hoo Hoo Merry Christmas!

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Angelicus alcholicus.

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

"All I've got left is smoked."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

Piano Bar

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

Cats play the double bass

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

Hey, it's 5am somewhere, am I right?

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'