Medicinal Merrymaker Pillows

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Tigers brass band, "Tiger rag-that's what it's all about."

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'I'd like to tell you all about it, dear, but what happens in Joe's Bar STAYS in Joe's Bar.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

Hoo Hoo Hoo Merry Christmas!

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Angelicus alcholicus.

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"All I've got left is smoked."

Piano Bar

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

Cats play the double bass

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'