Mechanical Merrymaker Pillows

Your nodding dog needed a new universal joint.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Tigers brass band, "Tiger rag-that's what it's all about."

May your Christmas be full of harmony

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'I'd like to tell you all about it, dear, but what happens in Joe's Bar STAYS in Joe's Bar.'

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

Angelicus alcholicus.

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

"All I've got left is smoked."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Piano Bar

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

Jester

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

Cats play the double bass

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

"Hava Nagila" go-round.

Prosecco and Pudding

Drunk Golfer.