Medication Muddler Gifts

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Stress on GPs

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

"He just called our work substandard."

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

"You'll enjoy the way these interact with over-the-counter medication."

Urban Trail Mix

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

Monday Morning at 9:02 am

'On Mondays & Tuesdays, Dr. Pruess prractices conventional medicine; on Thursdays & Fridays, he practices alternative medicine.'

"That would be in Aisle Six, the worried-well section."

"I just messed with the past."

Prayers To ZYP, The God Of Postal Service

"It has unfortunate memory side effects. He never forgets to take the damn things."

"If you're worried about taking so many tablets I could prescribe you some valium..."

'Wow, he survived! I didn't have a clue what his doctor scribbled down when I filled that prescription.'

"There's trouble at ball-bearing works!"

"I'm out of purple pills. Can I take 1 blue and 1 red instead?"

'Sorry, too busy to get you a drink just now, here are your tablets, don't forget to take them with water.'

"He told me to take 3 pills twice a day or 7 pills every other day or 23 pills once a week. I think it's a placebo."

"No, what you want is the queens-bound F train. Where you are now is in my house."

'...I forgot to refill my ulcer prescription.'