Medical Trivia Lover Gifts

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

No, I haven't taken an aspirin yet... I'm still reading the bottle!

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Time for your pills.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Long shift?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Gross."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

"Turn your head and cough."

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'