Health Trivia Fanatic Gifts

'I've got every disease in this book except hypochondria...'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'Side effects may include....'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

Valleyview diet clinic

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'Be careful...It may not be organic.'

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"I didn't even get a balloon."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'Give Mr. Fogarty his testosterone injection, Nurse, and then run like the dickens!'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

I'll take this one here.