Medical Technologist Gifts

Packed Red Cells

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

'While you're in there, could you do me a favor and look around for a silver earring? The patient before you thinks that's where she lost it.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Google car."

"Meet the author"

'Well, well, well...'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Ascent of Machine.

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

Artifishial Intelligence

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

"What did you download at school today?"

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

Cat Scan

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

Computer Class.

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

First we thought the apes would conquer the world...When in reality we've been busy mining the end of the world all along.

"Nice, but as long as there are readers there will be scrolls."

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

All the apps hidden within a phone

Another Energy-Saving Idea From Your Electric-Eel Council: