Technologist Gifts

"I design retinal-controlled destination-mapping interfaces for self-driving transportation, but not in the traditional sense."

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

Another Energy-Saving Idea From Your Electric-Eel Council:

'He's not much fun in the evenings -- he's solar powered.'

"Yes, it's self-defrosting. It also does a daily inventory, searches for the best deal and runs over to the store for you."

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

Computer with owner on a leash like a dog

"What about that! His brain still uses the old vacuum tubes."

'This problem has been my life's work. I planned to devote my remainig years to it. It's just been solved in four seconds.'

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

"That's all well and good, but what's the practical application for it."

Crystal Balls.

'Why aren't I in school? I have an app that does that for me.'

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

'My company utilizes a yet-to-be-developed technology to deliver content that's still in the conceptual stage to a segment of the economy we really hope is out there!'

Ascent of Machine.

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

'Now that we're completely automated, there's no one to yell at.'

'The computer is claiming its intelligence is real, and ours is artificial.'

'I can remember when you could go out without having to worry!'

'I have millions of answers...how about a few questions.'

"Samuel Morse, stop fooling with that telegraph thing. People will never talk to each other with their fingers."

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

"Now I can talk on the phone and trample people to death at the same time."

Sensor technology needs to more compact

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

"Don't quit now, we're halfway there!"

"The patient handed me this 'wearable technology' and said 'all the answers are on there'."

"My digital transformation is almost complete ..."

'I can't keep up with technology either.'

'Just as we finally get the industrial revolution down pat, we find ourselves in the middle of the electronic revolution.'

Outsourced Rudolf.

"Remember how big and clunky the first ones were?"