Medical Technology Gifts

Vending machines. Junk food. Robotic surgery.

"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."

'Some people find the MRI chamber claustrophobic.' - 'Oh.' - 'I call those people 'the lucky few'.' - 'Ah.' - 'Whatever you do don't think about being buried alive.' - 'Gah.' -

'Brain surgery? I have an app for that!'

"Doctor, the new x-ray equipment is here."

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"You should have told us that you are a bedwetter!'

'Wait 'til you see our new defibrillator. It's a Michael Graves design.'

'While you're in there, could you do me a favor and look around for a silver earring? The patient before you thinks that's where she lost it.'

'It could be the size of the machine, the name, or a combination of the two. I'm really not sure what bothers me most.'

Health Care Parade

Blasted Pacemakers.

Medical Device Co. I need to market our new cardiac diagnostic equipment. Say "The only way to truly know what is in somebody's heart."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

The Anti-Agent

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

Robot Parts $5

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.