Medical Professional In-jokes Gifts

"Another bad night then?"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Hypochondria Hospital

'Where does it hurt?'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

"Definitely work-related."

"Do you want to speak to the man in charge or the nurse who knows what's going on?"

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

I like a lot of witnesses around.

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Tinnitus.

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

Oh, good - Looks like the doctor's in.

'We may as well make use of you.'

'I see that somebody grabbed the bull by the horns.'

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

'Good grief. I think your body rejected your cornea transplant.'

"I'm afraid someone drank your sample."

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

"I'm a dentist but I dabble in noses."

'Perhaps dressing up my skeleton like this wasn't as wittily amusing an ideas as I'd thought.'

"Trust me, Senator. Many people have active and fulfilling sex lives long after they've retired from Congress."

"Med school was a blast."

'What's that noise?'

'I've broken a tooth.'

'What's the problem?'

'Really, doctor! Minor surgery is out of the question.'

Surgery While You Wait.