Medical Miracle-lover Gifts

'The doctor is running behind...I wasn't entitled to a senior discount when I first came in.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Moses as a child.

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

Paging for a Doctor

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

I guess that's one way to get the ER renovated.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

Illustrated Encyclopedia of Infectious Diseases

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

Anatomy.

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

"You're this age and never had surgery? Aren't you curious?"

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'Mr. Figgs - any door with doctor on it - knock-go in-smile-sit down-poor out your woes.'

'And now the anti-aging pill is in the market - tough luck, my dear!'

"You wait twelve month's, and then five come along all at once!"

'What is it now, Mister Hypochondriac?'

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

Thank You to Vaccinators

'Hard to say how your husband is at this point. We should know more once the bandages come off.'