Medical Miracle Seeker Gifts

'Good news, when we transferred your medical history to our digital system, it suddenly became legible.'

Doctor to patient: 'Nah - you don't need to make a hospital appointment. I can do this procedure with a laser pen.'

Eureka! Great medical news!: 'Remember the 'heartbreak of psoriasis? Those people today are happy, happy, happy!'

A heart lies on an IV drip.

'I've done everything that medical science can do...now I suggest you sacrifice a goat to Nagoomba.'

'Carswell thinks he's found a cure for the common cold...' 'Ahhhhchooo!'

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

Fishing with God

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

'All I did was to connect an artificial heart to artificial legs, to an artificial kidney, to...'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

I guess that's one way to get the ER renovated.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up.

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

'Except for his testosterone level being out of whack, Frankie is a normal 7-year-old.'

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

'Well I think it's worth a try!'

Be A Doctor

'And now the anti-aging pill is in the market - tough luck, my dear!'

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."