Medical Miracle Enthusiast Gifts

'I'll have you out of bed and on your foot in no time.'

"Hey, I'm just happy the transplant worked at all."

"He's one tough cookie. I've never seen anyone bounce back from an autopsy before."

'The operation turned out better than I expected. Your insurance paid for everything.'

'OK, you're all set. That stent in your artery will get you through the second half, but I'll need to open you back up after the game.'

'Wouldn't you say the survival of this patient is a true testimony to modern medical science?'

'And now the anti-aging pill is in the market - tough luck, my dear!'

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

2021

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."