Medical Miracle-lover Pillows

'The doctor is running behind...I wasn't entitled to a senior discount when I first came in.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Moses as a child.

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

Paging for a Doctor

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

I guess that's one way to get the ER renovated.

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

Illustrated Encyclopedia of Infectious Diseases

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

Anatomy.

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

"You're this age and never had surgery? Aren't you curious?"

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'Mr. Figgs - any door with doctor on it - knock-go in-smile-sit down-poor out your woes.'

'What is it now, Mister Hypochondriac?'

'We're donating our organist to science.'

'And now the anti-aging pill is in the market - tough luck, my dear!'

"You wait twelve month's, and then five come along all at once!"

Thank You to Vaccinators

'Hard to say how your husband is at this point. We should know more once the bandages come off.'