Miracle Lover Pillows

'Wow! How'd that Moses kid shovel our driveway so fast?'

Water into Sports Drink.

"Look ere, JC, if you carry on with this changing water into wine shtick, there's plent of lads out there willing to do you!"

Jesus fishing and walking on water.

Moses as a child.

If Jesus had to find himself a job...

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Edgar Allen Poe

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

hard-boiled egg...

Bermuda Triangles

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

Joan Hickson

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

Fishing with God

$1: Family Secrets

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Tiny Visions

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Pastorius wonders why.

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

Primitive magician

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."