Medical Leave Gifts

'I discovered just as much work gets done when you're not there.'

"No need to rush back to work. The office lad is doing your job."

"I received 9 months leave for an injury at work, then 6 months to recover from junk food poisoning while watching TV at home."

"Oh, no! Your boss enclosed your severance check in his get-well card!"

'Ahhh...'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

Temporarily Unavailable

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Time for your pills.'

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

Energy saving mode

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

It was Wilbur's first vacation in 17 years.

Earl suspends his disbelief.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Newborn Chaos

Laptops

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

"What's this about having time off to spawn?"

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

"For heaven's sake lighten up, Roger! You're supposed to be on holiday."

Infected Macron

'I'm having my colon checked.'

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

Working holiday.