Medical Industry Gifts

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

'Mercy Business Hospital Office' - 'We accept all major medical plans, credit cards, organs and blood.'

'One minute she was eyeing her hospital bill, and the next minute...'

"Now here's a difficult case. Her vitals are strong, but her HMO is weak."

'Your latest test results indicate you should accelerate your payments to us.'

'Sorry, it's the cut backs in the health service.'

"You should have come and seen me sooner."

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"It's an experimental drug...we're experimenting to see if your health care insurer pays for it."

Titan Medical Labs: 'We're a dummy corporation that specializes in placebos.'

'He only has six weeks to live, so make sure his bill is due at the end of the month.'

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

"Can you move closer to me. You coverage doesn't require me to try very hard."

Debate continues about charging for GP appointments.

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

"Quick, let me through. I'm a doctor's receptionist!"

'Your prescription is ready. How would you like to finance it?'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

vaccine wars.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.