Medical Industry Commentator Gifts

"The NHS is less 'cradle to the grave' these days than 'cradle to being a bit knackered, stopping off at a few cashpoints on the way'!"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

'Your prescription is ready. How would you like to finance it?'

Take a pill so you won't be one.

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

'Under disclosure rules, I'm required to tell you I own stock in the company whose

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"I just discovered where the company's money is going. Since when did we start paying our employees?"

"And he can make 347,000 home visits in one night!"

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

'Anxiety drugs are driving up big pharma stocks, thanks to global armed conflict!'

'He only has six weeks to live, so make sure his bill is due at the end of the month.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

'Yours is an elective surgery, so we're still deciding if we feel like doing it or not.'

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

Obesity in America.

'I need you to open wide, Peel.' - 'Ahhh.' - 'Not your mouth, fool! Your wallet.' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Wider!' - 'Argh!'

'Intensive and or expensive care?'

"Yes, the treatment is very effective, especially for those who can afford it."

Hospital

"Side effects include less visits by the grim reaper."