Healthcare Commentators Gifts

"It's a great country–just don't get sick."

Reached prescription donut hole.

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

Have you drugged your child today?

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Republican Healthcare

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"They used to call them G.P.s."

Take a pill so you won't be one.

Surgical Self-Service

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

'Sales are up 12% since we moved Recovery over here to the hospital gift shop.'

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."