Healthcare Commenter Gifts

Cost of health care.

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

Republican Healthcare

Surgical Self-Service

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

Have you drugged your child today?

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

Take a pill so you won't be one.

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

"The good news is we were able to save your leg..."

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'