Healthcare Industry Gifts

"See, son? Daddy's company makes inhalers to help people with asthma."

"I'm telling you, these Sales Reps get more aggressive every year."

'The doctor will see your insurance coverage now.'

Just Browsing.

'Sorry, we're shorthanded - please pass over the scalpel...'

"I'm glad you've been able to find new hires, but that's not what I meant when I said that we have a radiologist shortage to deal with."

"How can he claim to be the face of his company, when they make endoscopes?"

'This is Hugh from PrivateMeds Inc. he's looking around the hospital...'

'37 years in a coma? Doesn't time fly!'

'It seems we've been treating you for his disease, and him for your disease, but it's working out O.K. anyway.'

Consultants forced to route referrals through GP's to save money.

"What a great day!! This old lady who had public insurance bled to death in the waiting room, but we saved the privatly insured guy with a broken finger nail!"

Global Medical Antidepressant Sales

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

vaccine wars.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

A midwife holding a baby

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."