Healthcare Gifts

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

The New Normal

"And remember, have your parents ask their doctor if Ambulex is right for them."

"These medicines all taste pretty good - let's approve them."

"Well, Bob, it looks like a paper cut, but just to be sure let's do lots of tests."

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."

Urology Department (door leaking pee)

"It's your ear, nose, and throat."

"I'll want to run a few tests on you, just to cover my ass."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'Despite all these changes in modern society, a prolapse is still a prolapse.'

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."

'I do not think I'm a God. God like, yes. But not God.'

'The assistant to the physician's assistant will see you now.'

Podiatrist

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

"It's a simple stress test - I do your blood work, send it to the lab, and never get back to you with the results."

"My drugs are interacting!"

"This is gonna hurt like hell."

"Whoa – way too much information."

"Under our holistic approach, Mr. Wyndot, we not only treat your symptoms, we also treat your dog."

"I want you to lie as still as possible while Lyle and I take our lunch break."

'They want your underwear.'

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

'kidney Pie?'

"Bad dog! What'd I say about relying on the Internet for medical advice?"

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

'OK, that's two triple bacon double cheese burgers with extra mayo. Would you like a will with that?'

Department of Silly Sounding Prescription Medications

"E"