Medical Field Gifts

"Do you find it painful when I get funky?"

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Your lung capacity is excellent!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Surgical Ward- Please Replace Divots

'I'm going to refer you to a podiatrist, Achilles.'

'Need some kidneys.'

"I blame the nurses."

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

'Now, I know I came in here for something!'

'It's not for soaking your feet... it's a bedpan!'

What the patient got... What the patient wanted... What the nurse told the patient to expect... What insurance covered... What the intern charted... What the patient needed.

'The pain isn't too bad...but I can't take my hat off!'

Today's odds (hospital bed's information chart).

This guy has no heart! Why didn't someone tell me he's an insurance company lobbyist?

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

'Count backwards from 100 and tell me when you can no longer feel your wallet.'

"...We're turning off your life support"

Hospital accident.

'Expecting a quick and east operation, Doctor?'

'And how dull is this pain?...'

Paramedics flipping a coin to choose a patient.

"Launch the surgical strike!"

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

Bronchial Clinic

Casualty / Badly Bruised / Just A Scratch / Oh It's Nothing

'Listen it's not our fault that you are short-handed...'

"Okay lets close up. Oooh wait...wishbone!"

"Where the heck are you?"

"You'd like a second opinion....luckily I'm schizophrenic!"

'Your hospital needs more nurses? So hire more nurses!'

'He specializes in funny bones.'

Dancing Doctor

'The inflamed hemorrhoid is here to see you, doctor.'