Medical Field Pillows

"Do you find it painful when I get funky?"

"5 second rule!"

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Your lung capacity is excellent!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'I'm going to refer you to a podiatrist, Achilles.'

Surgical Ward- Please Replace Divots

'Need some kidneys.'

'It's not for soaking your feet... it's a bedpan!'

What the patient got... What the patient wanted... What the nurse told the patient to expect... What insurance covered... What the intern charted... What the patient needed.

'Now, I know I came in here for something!'

"I blame the nurses."

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

'The pain isn't too bad...but I can't take my hat off!'

This guy has no heart! Why didn't someone tell me he's an insurance company lobbyist?

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

Today's odds (hospital bed's information chart).

'Count backwards from 100 and tell me when you can no longer feel your wallet.'

"...We're turning off your life support"

Hospital accident.

'Listen it's not our fault that you are short-handed...'

"Okay lets close up. Oooh wait...wishbone!"

Casualty / Badly Bruised / Just A Scratch / Oh It's Nothing

Bronchial Clinic

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

"Launch the surgical strike!"

Paramedics flipping a coin to choose a patient.

'And how dull is this pain?...'

'Expecting a quick and east operation, Doctor?'

'Occupation?'

"Where the heck are you?"

'It doesn't matter how you feel. It's a matter of definition, and according to the latest, you're legally dead.'

'There's a lot we don't know about these new diseases... most of our seminars are on billing.'

'Second opinion? Come back tomorrow, I will probably have changed my mind by then...'