Medical Comedy Lover Gifts

'Are you sure this is the way to take blood pressure?'

I think the surgery went well. I'll know more when I hear from the billing department.

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.

"The doctor would like to know if anyone else out here needs surgery before he puts his stuff away."

'Just another couple of pages.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'You're a bond trader? Don't worry, there's a new drug to treat interest rate sensitivity.'

'The good news is that new medicine cleared up the spots, but...'

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

'I told you Tom don't use this as a shortcut! The patients think they're being left here!'

'Give Mr. Fogarty his testosterone injection, Nurse, and then run like the dickens!'

"I know we're supposed to get rid of 'superbugs', but ours is the only one that understands the IT systems!"

"This hospital is underachieving. So, I'm recommending an extra dollop of custard on your pudding at teatime."

'That's our new Radiology Specialist!'

"It's a covert operation!"

"I'll get you an emesis basin, paper or plastic?"

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Did you bring your donor card?

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

'Call that a broken leg? You look okay to me!'

"We have male patient coming in who has a large parsnip stuck up his colon!"

'It was just a fun transplant. You got his heart, he got yours.'

"Looks like an advanced version of the bird flu."

'Sure you can get a second opinion, but possible side effects include nausea, cramping and diarrhea.'

"Mr. Jones, the doctor says it's OK to move you ahead of the queue and he'll see you now!"

"Is it the hardware store? I would like to order a small piece of copper pipe and two plastic balls!"

'Hi! I'm Doctor Kerns and I'm sick too.'

"You should have seen the mess you made of his knuckles"

'Alright! Everybody sit up!'

'And if you avoid lawyers the headaches, diarrhea and boils will disappear...'

"Thankfully, we were able to segue directly into an autopsy."

Men in hospital beds bare cheek reads 'This side even dates'

'...Do you have an appointment...?'

"You're very lucky. An inch lower and this would have been closer to your elbow."

"His last words sort of came out … 'AAARRGHH AAAARRRGGHHH' …."