Medical Comedy Enthusiasts Gifts

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

Medical Center.

'Just another couple of pages.'