Medical Comedy Enthusiasts Gifts

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

Medical Center.