Medical Comedy Aficionado Gifts

'You'll need to see a chiropractor. You've dislocated your brain.'

'... And you say you first noticed them just after you had a 'near death experience'?'

The Proctology Association - Picture of the founder Picture of an bum hole.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Happy Birthday to you.

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

'Long shift?'

'Time for your pills.'

"Gross."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

"Turn your head and cough."

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

Mobile Operations Stand.

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"