Medical Comedy Aficionado Pillows

'You'll need to see a chiropractor. You've dislocated your brain.'

'... And you say you first noticed them just after you had a 'near death experience'?'

The Proctology Association - Picture of the founder Picture of an bum hole.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Long shift?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Time for your pills.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Gross."

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

"Turn your head and cough."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'