Medical Comedy Fan Pillows

'You've got it. Don't flaunt it. You'll spread it.'

"Listen up, my fine people, and I'll sing you a song, 'bout a brave neurosurgeon who done something wrong."

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

"Now it's broken."

"This asks if I have "excessive gas". What constitutes "excessive?"

'Please inform all of your visitors that video tape of your endoscopy is available in the gift shop.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'How could I be retaining water? -- I only drink beer.'

'Will this prescription interact with the meds already in my drinking water?'

'With a few years of physical therapy, I think there's a good possibility that you could get a job as a paperweight!'

'Oh Franklin!'

'The good news it the Biopsy was negative. The better news is my pants stay up like a dream now.'

'Your tests came back. . . bad news. Not only did we find a lump, you are a lump. . .'

"Oops, forgot... I also have REALLY high blood pressure."

It's a new medical reality show, do you mind?

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

Man on left - 'How did your pig stomach transplant work out?' Man on right - 'Oink!'

'If you won't help me lose forty pounds, I'll find a doctor that will.'

"How long do you have? I'll have to talk fast..."

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I keep hearing a buzzing in my ears.'

'Not only did he make a house call, he also brought flowers and candy.'

'You're doing great! In a few days, I think you'll be strong enough to eat hospital food!'

'We've got your test results back...'

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

"Is E.Bowler here?"

'I'm going on vacation so here are a few prescriptions for a laxative, decongestant, antacid, analgesic, and antidepressant to tide you over.'

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"

"Swash, yes, but your buckling days are over."

Operating Room - 'Oops!'

'Dr. Frobisher's office-gesundheit.'

'We're a bit short of staff so if no-one answers the red button then you should try screaming 'Help me HELP ME Dear God I'm Dying' as loud as you can!'